What’s in your blueberry muffin?

blueberryHere’s a hint: it’s probably not blueberries.

Jeffrey Albacete, Professor of Mathematics, would be very upset to hear this news, addicted as he was to a blueberry muffin with his morning coffee.

Jeffrey imagines the delicious muffin he eats each morning contains healthy inviting blueberries. And why shouldn’t he? He can see the blueberries in the muffin, and he can taste the blueberry flavor as he bites into the little purple pieces scattered through the muffin.

But Jeffrey is mistaken. The blueberry muffin he is eating contains little to no blueberries. That is because he bought it at his campus coffee shop, the Daily Grind. If he had baked his own blueberry muffins, putting in whole ripe blueberries, it would be a different story. But Jeffrey was a little too lazy to do that and preferred, instead, to order coffee and blueberry muffins from the coffee shop, where he sat and enjoyed his morning repast in peace.

So, if Jeffrey’s blueberry muffins don’t contain blueberries, what do they contain?

Here, folks, is the ugly truth:

This is a disgusting and sad state of affairs. Even though Professor Jeffrey Albacete is too lazy to bake his own blueberry muffins – and not being married has no wife to bake them for him – he still should not have to suffer such processed rubbish.

“Perhaps,” he thought to himself, “I could interest some of my colleagues in baking fresh blueberry muffins. Kathy might be interested … and perhaps Deborah?” With a smile on his face he contemplated fresh home-made blueberry muffins with his coffee tomorrow morning.